i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
