Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
