You surviving the open bar?
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Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
