I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
You smell like stripper and shame
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
