Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
