Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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