i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
