Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize
