Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
either way he was missing a nipple.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
