tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i came on her dog
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Randomize
