I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize
