So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
You took a bar mat shot.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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