Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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