She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
