Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I have fence marks all over my body
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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