There is no way he is gay with that hair.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
