somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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