I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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