I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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