Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Randomize
