if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
