Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Randomize
