what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
