i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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