i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize