What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
