Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Welp...herpes.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
