You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
