you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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