So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
