Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
