There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
