no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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