I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
