How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
