i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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