We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
