Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
