Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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