We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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