tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Randomize
