I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
vagina is talking i cant
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
