dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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