You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
