those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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