he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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