So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
