Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
