dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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