Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
