Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
